(insert from my Journal) Oct. 8,2012
So I made an ass out of myself and told him that, I think his my Twin Flame. He pretty much told me, he wasn't experiencing the same thing.
At this rate I was feeling lost, crushed, hurt could I add any more of how I felt when he responded back. I thought to myself did I make this up in my head. The questions I had for the universe of why is this happening at this moment in my life. Well it wasn't for the universe to answer why he wasn't feeling the same way. I tried to act like or hit the rewind button like I didn't say anything at all. So two days past I'm in a lecture and my phone goes off. Time went by before I would get a break from the lecture. I look at my phone and the text says.
(insert from my Journal) Oct. 10, 1012
Text at 1:02pm He asked me not to text or email him any more.
My heart dropped and I had to pull myself together before going back to my lecture. So I text backed that I understood and stuck with that for months. It was at this moment that I saw this coming and the universe needed me to go work on myself. That's one thing I can say, I 'm good at respected others boundaries and this union has a-lot to do with that. I can't say that this wasn't hard from me not to be able to talk to him. That maybe not even be friends any more, due to opening my mouth about this connection.
I am in a creative field, my Twin as well and it's always a joy to work with him. I needed his advice on a project and it had been weeks since we had talked. I was so nervous to even ask him anything. I walked up to him and I start to talk, and notices his eyes had changed color like six months earlier. The pull was happening again and everything stop, his eyes still not normal. People we're standing around as if they were frozen in time. It was like we we're the only people around. I took one more look into his eyes and his eyes had changed color but they seem so familiar. I start to flip out and before I could get a good answer, I was gone. However I felt like maybe we we're in a good place, well I hope so after all that.
Well a couple of weeks go by and the advice he gave me on my project. Sometimes I get nervous or overwhelm when it's too much to do. In this type of field you may wear more then one hat at times. I'm setting everything up and a mutual friend asked my Twin for advice. Before I knew it I seen his well kept shoes and I'm looking up at him. I didn't know how he felt being in the same place at the same time. He starts telling how we can pull this off and asked me a question. It was my project and so I look into his eyes and it happen again his eyes changed again. Every time this would happen it's like both of else would bolt, this time I couldn't I had a project to finish. He walks out and I watch him go on and our mutual friend looks at us both crazy. When he left I would have so much energy and bliss. The project was great and everybody headed home.
A couple days before Thanksgiving I decide I will try to make my current relationship work. I was going to cook and all that good stuff but on the back of my mind was my TF. I thought if I tell my boyfriend the truth it would make it easy. When really that wasn't true because, I was having a hard time just interacting with my boyfriend in a intimate way. It was like the universe didn't want him to touch me. It was bad and he knew it, that was the worst for both of us. I don't care what a person has done or didn't do, it's not cool to force a relationship. I would try to pretend, make it work but the universe was not going for it. Hell my soul was going for it,
I had out grown that relationship. It's not like this person is a horrible person not at all. When your in any type of relationship,union, and so on, you should always be in growth mode. The type of growth that benefit the couple in question. It shouldn't be one sided ,when in a relationship,union etc.... You will see and welcome growth in each other,no matter what.
So I'm writing in my journal daily but my boyfriend is acting like a crazy man. He is checking all of my things and I don't want him to read my journal. I would have these burst of energy and write tons of letters and stories. Well I couldn't stop thinking of this connection and started blogging. I thought I would try to help others,like me searching for answers. When really the answers are deep within, if we trust our intuition. Not only was I blogging but I was writing stories in weeks at a time.
Walking home from the bus stop and I'm thinking to myself, I need to tell my boyfriend the truth. What is wrong with me and telling the truth? Well I beat my boyfriend home and I decide to call my mom. It was funny before calling her I decided to meditate and ask for protection. Archangel Michael showed up just in time because I would need him this night. I'm talking to my Mom, we laugh and I hear the door open. I can hear my boyfriend in the background but something change like my mannerisms had changed. It was like I was getting ready for something and continue to talk to my mom. My Boyfriend came charging me from behind and I moved. My Mom asked me what's going on and I'm still not sure what's going on. He grabs my phone and throws it against the wall and he want's answers. His yelling at the top of his lungs then he showed me my first blog post. I didn't deny what I wrote because I did. I wanted to be honest with him but that just made it worst and he kept coming at me. He still wasn't getting the answers he wanted and he turns around and grabs a knife off the counter top. I guess you shouldn't keep the butcher block of knives on the counter. He charge at me again with the biggest knife out of all of them. I grab his arm with that knife, I knew I was protected. I could feel the energy surrounding me and enough strength that he let go of that knife. I just knew I wasn't going to let him hurt me or kill me. That night I could not sleep I was scared for my life because this was the first time I seen him like this. The one thing he said to me that night is he felt my TF surrounding me. Well I just thought Archangel Michael was surrounding me with his blue cloak. I do sometimes think maybe it was my Twin helping me that night.
Since the fight I'm off to move away for good but I kept thinking of my Twin. I thought I should tell him bye, I wave him down. He walks into the office and I told him that I was glad to have met him. I'm going to move back home with my Dad and felt my heart drop. That's funny it wasn't me, It was him. This sadness came over us both but he shook my hand and headed for the door. He says don't stop writing,what ever you do.
The last day and I wanted to show my project before I go. I'm waiting for his feedback and he is happy how it turned out. I couldn't stay but why I was there we talked a little. My head started hurting but it wasn't a normal headache. Something just came over me and I had to leave and something did come over me. My Twin knew that was the last day he would see me. I make it home to feeling even worst then earlier that day. I'm supposed to be heading out of town. I was getting worst, I thought I was dying or something. All I could do is pray, meditate and finally I went to sleep. I was woke out of my sleep by my boyfriend asking me to marry him. My TF vividly appeared in my minds eye saying no. Well I knew I would say no, the whole knife thing.
I had never seen images in my minds eye with my eyes open before. It was as if he herd what my boyfriend said and it had me scared. Well maybe not scared but aware enough not to say yes. This was happening more and more where I would get images of him and people I never seen before.Well I was sick the whole weekend and not a functioning person at all.
I found that every time I would experience something like that or a growth moment. I would purge that from my energy field because it is no more.So that argument with my boyfriend had to happen so I could see the truth. I thought if I would be honest with him that we could go on. Why force something that is not working, the universe is talking to you. The universe talks to us daily, but are we listening to what's really going on. This connection happens because most of us are not listening. We meet this person and the universe starts out as a whisper. You soon start to hear a song within your heart center, it's the best melody ever.
Love, Light, Energy!!!!!
Stay tune to part four........ Did I stay or did I go
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Part One Part Two